When I look back on my life and this journey of healing and growing, I see more clearly the baggage that I've been carrying for most of my life. These included sad, mad, angry, fearful, judgemental thoughts and emotions of myself and of others. It was like carrying a sack on my back, and my arms and hands also full with this baggage, leaving me very little resources or attention to put on where my life is here and now. I was too occupied with all this baggage.
On this journey of healing I have begun to put down, piece by piece, the baggage I've been carrying. Finding another way to move through life. Not bogged down with old thoughts and emotions.
The first step in healing was to simply see I was carrying all these things, which was increasing awareness. I had little awareness of this baggage up until a couple years ago, this had been how I always was so never questioned it.
The next step was to just observe this without judgement. These were all old patterns imprinted which I was following. No judging, no self hating, no blame on myself or others, tapping into the acceptance of what is here and now.
Through the practice of breathing and meditation, I began stepping out of these old patterns. Which began the process of dissolving those old patterns. Which led to new patterns and ways of being. A different outlook on life. Living life in the here and now, not in the past or the future. Processing, facing these fears, no longer running, is the path to true freedom.