Fears come in all sorts of disguises. It can be anger, resentment, sadness, and other emotions hiding behind jealousy that are based on insecurities, self hatred, that result in blaming others for how one feels.
In my experience the easiest thing was to attempt to manipulate my surroundings and people around me to change, to make me feel better. Rather than look more closely inside me and what was going on with me. The former may work momentarily but would not last. There was little to no sustaining change that I can control in my surroundings or with other people.
One example of fear that would emerge in my life was jealousy. This was based on wanting to have an experience with someone, when I saw they were having that experience with someone else.
I'd have the following thoughts: Why can't it be me? Why don't they want to do that with me? Why are they choosing that other person over me? Why don't things go my way? Why am I not good enough? I don't deserve this experience. I deserve to be left out. No one wants to be with me.
The thoughts would get worse and worse, escalating each time. Leading to conclusions that felt affirmed by the strong emotions I was feeling. Feeling more sad, more angry, more upset, then turning that negativity on me. Believing all these negative thoughts.
Here are some practical steps I took, as part of the process of healing. Some components I got from teachers such as Eckhart Tolle, Byron Katie, and Jeff Foster. The other piece that was important was breathing and meditating.
Use emotions as a gauge to what energies are floating by. Recognizing I do not have to believe every thought that I have. In practicing this, you'll get stronger at it, by then choosing which thoughts to entertain and which to let go. The emotions and thoughts that carry that negative energy can more easily be let go through greater awareness, while the emotions and thoughts that carry joy, peace, love, can be entertained more deeply, resonating and connecting more close with your spirit.
This does take practice. I used to resist negative feelings, thoughts, and emotions. Now, the fight is over. There's nothing to fight. No more battle or inner turmoil. Through awareness, then choosing, I'm gaining back my strength, with inner joy and inner peace.
The practice of breathing and meditation gives me greater practice in letting thoughts come and go, and resting in that state of joy, peace, and love. Returning to my true self.